The Beer Garden at Church (Praise You in This Storm)

*please scroll all the way through the post to the link for Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm*

Marty and I joined the church where we worship now in 2010. We started going in the fall of 2009, after my stroke, and my departure from working as a full time Spiritual Counselor at YRMC Hospice. We both felt that it was time to find a church that we could call 'family', and 'home'. When we walked through the doors of the church we felt accepted, loved and found places where our gifts could be used to share God's love with our neighbors in Prescott Valley.

We joined in the Spring of 2010, and found our niche's. I was on the Care and Nurture Team, I helped to birth the Healing Prayer Ministry, so that people who needed prayer could come up and receive anointing with oil and a prayer during communion. I was asked to come to staff meetings every Monday morning, and all seemed to be right with the world. Marty came to co-chair the Building Ministry and he enjoyed it a lot.

There was a vacancy for an administrative assistant in the church office in the Spring of 2011 so I began to volunteer my time in the office two to 3 days a week, and when the office manager went on vacation. I loved being in the office. I felt that it was a calling from God to help the office manager and I just loved seeing everyone who came into the church for Bible Studies and other needs. It allowed me to get familiar with people from 1st service and I just loved getting my Wednesday hugs from Arlene and Isabel...their hugs were just the best!

I was hired on as paid staff in August 2011 and it was a perfect fit for me and for the Office Manager. We just seemed to be two peas in a pod. We worked very well together and the office ran really smoothly. I took care of the computers at church, and with the help of an IT guy we were able to get all the computers working in a network that was easy to use, and things were rolling along very well. Life was good.

As time went on, and Marty and I took on the role as caregivers for our dear friend Gwinnie, my time was split between church, and many trips to Gwin's apartment to see to her needs. I dropped out of the Care and Nurture Ministry and the Healing Prayer Ministry because there was not enough of 'me' to go around. Taking care of Gwin became a full time job, I still had my Reiki practice, and did spiritual counseling on the side also. My live was full, and along with the hectic days, came more and more migraines. Bad ones, the kind that ball you up in the fetal position and you just want to die.

Things changed at church in 2012, when we had a series called, A World Unbroken, which was supposed to be only a few weeks, but it went on and on and on. The details are not important, the outcome from those weeks are. It left our church broken. That is all I can say...and it has not healed one bit. We are being led on this course where there has been no time to just 'BE STILL' and allow healing to occur so that our body may be made whole and well. Very few people made it through those weeks without the brokenness touching their lives in some way. It broke my heart to see precious people so hurt and raw, yet they stayed, as did we, because we had our church 'family' there and we could not abandon ship.

There were a lot of things that happened in 2012 behind the scenes which I found, as a minister myself, to be just so hard to hear, to see and to listen to the aftermath of things done and said to hurt one another. It was just so hard to bear the sorrow that permeated the church. I closed out 2012 by sending in my resignation. I left because the pastor did not want me there, telling me that I was bringing too much negative energy into the office. We had a meeting with Marty and another church member present to clear the air, and it was such a difficult meeting. I was told that I brought too much negative energy into the office. I was told 'I want the Old Charlotte back', meaning he wanted the Charlotte that he knew pre-stroke, when I worked for Hospice. It never occurred to him that I would like to have her back too. We talked about my stroke, my migraines and the fact that not once did he ever come to me and ask why I was quiet, or maybe I was short with him...all because I was working with a migraine. He told me that people were afraid of me. Afraid of me. Really? I guess I am pretty scary.

Another issue he had was that he did not like me using my title Rev. Charlie or Rev. Charlotte, which I had on my name tag, and on my emails from church. He didn't understand how a minster could be happy being an office assistant. I told him that I would do whatever God wanted me to do, no matter what that 'job' was. He told me that I wasn't being the 'healer' that he knew that I was supposed to be because I left the care and nurture team and the healing prayer team. In other words, he wanted me to do what he deemed was right for me, not things that I knew were right for me.

He broke me that day, broke my spirit into a thousand raindrops carried on the wind of the storm beginning to form all around us.

I am not the first person he has 'broken', and I won't be the last. In fact I think I am in rather good company with those he has done this same thing to. Maybe I should wear a badge of courage for fighting the good fight of faith. I resigned and went on with my life.

I focused my energies on my book study, our evolving women's fellowship 'Sisters of the Spirit', and on our Outreach Ministry which is just beyond phenomenal. The interfaith meal we serve each month is just such a huge blessing to our neighborhood. We serve between 80 and 100 people, and send many sack lunches out on that day.


We are getting prepared for our 4th annual Fall Fun Fest, which is a gift to our neighborhood. It is such an awesome feeling to see little children and their parents come and have a 'free' day where they enjoy a free day of food, games, crafts and more. Last year we fed the whole Prescott Valley Police Force that was on duty that day.

This is the highlight of our Outreach Ministry: GIVING TO OUR COMMUNITY, and we do so much because it is in our hearts to be like Christ....after all aren't we his ambassadors? Aren't we his hands, his feet and his mouth here on earth now? YES, YES, YES!!!!

In the midst of the huge preparation that it takes to put on our Fall Fun Fest, we were told that the church is behind in it's budget, and the church council is going to put on an Oktoberfest the last week-end of the month of October. We were told that the council would fund the whole event and be the worker bees for it also. Most of us involved in Outreach just said, fine, as long as council is putting it on, then we don't have to do anything. After all, October 5th is the Fall Fun Fest, October 11th is our Interfaith Meal, October 10 thru 12 is Women's Cursillo, and quite a number of worker bees of the church are involved in this. Then our Sisters of the Spirit event is Friday October 18. So by the time the last week-end of the month arrives, all of us will need a week-end of R&R.

The powers that be asked for our input, we gave it, they didn't like it, so they are going full force to get the Oktoberfest organized. On this past Sunday, from start to finish the whole service (except for the songs we sang) was focused on money. We are $22,000.00 behind, and we have one month to step up and raise this money. Then just as we are digesting this...we got kicked again. From the pulpit we were told that Pastor was looking forward to having a beer with each and every one of us at the Beer Garden that will be just outside our fellowship hall. You could have heard a pin drop. No way could this be real.

Oh, it is real all right. A beer garden at CHURCH. We remain stunned, shocked, and most assuredly NOT going to participate in that event. NO way, NO how. And they are going to sell tickets.....to people not even associated with the church. So the community that we are supposed to be ministering to can come and drink beer with the Pastor, have a meal and help reduce our debt.

Did no one think first of all, it is just wrong, but second, how many beers does it take to pay off $22 grand? Enough for people to get drunk for sure. And what about the liability?  If we serve someone, who then is impaired and has a wreck...WOW, that will make PV headline news, heck, it probably would be on one of the Phoenix news channels.

Did they think about the people we have at church who struggle with addiction? What if because this event is at church, the person says, "Well if the church is sanctioning this drinking, I guess it is all right for me too."

Did they think about what a horrid example it is for our children? Beer and church is all right. Okay, beer at a kegger is all right. And what about our community at large? Here we are known for our Outreach into the community, where we have a top notch reputation. Know where our reputation with other churches is going to be after October 26th? In the mud.

To top it all off...rumor has it that each of us will be receiving a personal phone call (Aren't we special?) We are also being asked to pay up to date for any of our giving that would match the pledge we made last year.  Hello? Anyone home? We are in a recession. Don't they think that there is a good reason why people may not have given what they pledged? Lost jobs, medical expenses, etc. Plus we will be asked to give that person the amount of our pledge for next year.

It is not the sit in the pew church member who is responsible for this $22,000.00 need. For Marty and I, and those in our inner circle, this is just like the political arena. Washington has overspent, and the little man has to suffer. Well, the Church Council and the Pastor have made some very unwise spending decisions, after all they are the ones who pass the motions to buy this, do that, etc, etc, etc. Let them dig in their pockets to raise the money. We sure are not going to hand over any more that will be spent unwisely.

So, as I have ruminated with all this knowledge today, as I cried because of the brokenness I feel for our church, I sat down at the computer to transfer some photos from my phone, and saw my music list, and of course my eyes would drift to "Praise You in This Storm." What it means for the long run I have no idea. All of us are saying, "Do we leave or do we stay?"  This storm is raging now......a category 5 hurricane for some of us.....

"Lord, have mercy on those in leadership who have made the decisions to put us in this much debt. Have great mercy upon those who came up with the Beer Garden idea and who are making it happen. God, help us. Help us as a church family to find our way through this storm. So many of us are hurting, so many think this is so wrong. We have stayed because of those we love, those who are our 'family'. Yet, we need Your direction, how can we stay at a place that sees nothing wrong with serving beer at a church function. God give us your wisdom, your strength and your grace to walk these days ahead. No matter how long this storm is, I will praise You in this storm and raise my hands and say...You will calm the waters, you will save us"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVWcv-EyBOs&feature=player_embedded

Lyrics to Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm'

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

God Moments

Lately it seems like I am experiencing more 'God Moments' than normal. These are moments that I know God orchestrated them. So I thought I would share them in the hope that you will begin to notice how God works in the small things in your life too.

#1.  I have been looking for a new wallet for months now. It has to be just the right size because I need a side for Gwin's cards (our Sweet Sister in the Lord who we look after), and I need a side for all our cards and stuff. The one I had was just perfect but it was 7 years old, and getting kind of frayed around the edges. I stopped at K-Mart to buy a new mop for our new tile floor and gravitated towards the purse section because they were having a sale. I went through three shelves of wallets and none were big enough. I was walking away when I saw some wallets on the other side so I started looking there. I moved one wallet and saw what looked like the perfect one...and it was. It had a side for Gwin's stuff and a side for our stuff. I was very happy. I got the mop and was checking out when I got my old wallet out to pay for everything.Guess what? I was looking at two identical wallets. The new one was exactly like the new one. That was a 'God Moment.'

 

#2 & #3  I was out looking for some things to decorate our fellowship hall at church for our Sisters of the Spirit Event this coming Saturday. I found a few things but really wanted to find some crowns since the event is entitled "You Are a Jewel in God's Crown." I was not having any luck finding anything. So I called a good friend and she said she had just seen some at the Dollar Tree. I was in the parking lot of Dollar Tree at that moment so she said she would meet me there. By the time she arrived I had found the crowns she saw and we got a few more things to decorate with...now that was a 'God Moment' also, and I was ever so grateful for finding the crowns.

I decided to drive home the back way to Fry's to get a few groceries, but it was time for the little ones to get out of school, so there was a line of cars a mile long (not really, but it seemed that way) waiting to pick up their kids from school. I decided that I would just go down Hwy 69 and forget the Fry's trip. I had been shopping till I was past dropping! I was drooping.

I remembered at the stop light that I had wanted to get a plate hanger to hang a really pretty platter that a friend made for me, which just sits in the cupboard, not used very much at all. Since I was already drooping by this time, I was gonna just go home. Then I hear this very small voice say, "Go to the Big Red Barn". That meant to make a stop at one of the thrift stores, and although I was exhausted, I pulled into the parking lot and went 'shopping' some more. I went up and down each aisle, found a couple of things to use as little gifts for my girls, but not one decorative plate in the place had a hanger on it.

I was just about to give up, but saw a really nice gift for a grandmother, so I read the words, thinking about my own grandmother, and how now I have my grand-kids and I am so blessed. My eyes got down to the bottom of the plaque and right in front of me was a lonely plate hanger marked 29 cents.

I had two 'God Moments' in the same day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The platter I wanted to hang on the wall, and the 25 cent hanger!

 #4.  We had our Book Study Lunch today at Chili's. Oh my, did we have fun. We were there from 11:30 until 2:30! Since we have only been meeting once a month, we have a whole lot of catching up to do when we see each other. Three of us needed to stop at church afterward, but one precious friend was running late to another appointment so she asked if I could take some things to the office for her. One thing was a really itty bitty hot pink flash drive, I mean really tiny! I got her other items in the car and went to church, delivered the items to the office, and then remembered that I didn't have the flash drive. I went back out to my car, looked everywhere, no flash drive. All I could think of was that it must have fallen out onto the parking lot at Chili's. So I drove back to the restaurant, and the parking lot was totally empty. Which meant that all the cars that had been there had driven out, and I thought even if I did find the thing, it would be smashed to smithereens. As I drove into the spot where I had parked, a pink thing caught my eye, I pulled up and opened my door, and it was some bandage wrap from someone who had some blood work drawn. Shoot..right color, wrong item. I opened the car door a little wider, and there on the ground was the flash drive. No one had smashed it with their tires....and if the pink bandage hadn't of caught my eye, I probably would have missed it. 

So back to church I went, a very grateful girl! it most assuredly was a huge 'GOD MOMENT!'

You can see the pink bandage, and barely can make out the flash drive.

 #5. I still needed to find something to put on the tables for Saturday's Sister of the Spirit Event. I could picture in my mind what I wanted. Some gold paper to run the length of the table, and I knew exactly the kind I wanted. We used to use it a lot to decorate with years ago, so I thought I would run into Stepping Stones Thrift Store where they have the craft items. Again, I was looking through bins of craft items. Not much organization there, and I wasn't finding any jewels to use or the paper I wanted. I saw some straw looking stuff  hanging up on a rack, and went to have a closer look. There, hanging in the back, as if hidden just for me was the exact gold paper I wanted. The exact stuff I had wanted to find. Just waiting for me. Another 'God Moment.'

So now I am really jazzed about Saturday....we are really going to have so much fun, making crystal earrings, and learning just how much God loves us that he says we are jewels in his crown.

Buy wait, there is more.....

#6. I get home and I said, "This day has been so wonderfully filled with 'God Moments', that I feel silly even saying it, but it would be so absolutely wonderful if we got a good old fashioned thunderstorm with a lot of rain."  Two hours later, what happened? It began to thunder and raindrops began to fall. Then a HUGE clap of thunder happened, sounding like it was just outside the back yard, and all three dogs come running into the office. Normally just Jake comes and won't leave my side, but now I have 3 big German Shepherds trying to stick to me like glue.

But all in all this has been just a very awesome week of noticing God in the small things...
The God who cares about wallets.
The God who cares about crafty crowns.
The God who cares about plate hangers.
The God who cares about a little lost flash drive.
The God who cares about gold ribbon.
The God who cares about a Texas girl who loves storms.

Our God is an Awesome God and 'God Moments' are when we realize just how Awesome our God is.

                                                         

Tragedy Hits When Least Expected

 For those of you Sisters of the Spirit who attended the worship experience last evening and were present when I received the news that the firefighters that were prayed for during the concert were all dead, I cannot thank you enough for the way you supported my grief. Your love, you support, your understanding how deeply I was in grief and shock all at the same time, and your ability to hug me, to cry with me was amazing. I am so blessed to have ‘sisters’ who care so deeply.

Thank you for the words spoken to me, “I love you.” “I am so sorry.” Thank you for the shoulders I cried upon. Thank you for encircling me not just with your bodies, but with your love.

Pam thank you for your ability to sob with me was you felt my grief, and again I apologize for practically screaming that they were all dead. I wanted to scream. I wanted to just fall on my knees and cry “Abba, Father.”

The names have been released now and there were none who Marty personally knew yet we are still in shock, as is the whole EMS community now. For those of you who have Facebook you can check this link to see the page that was created yesterday for the 19 brave, souls who died. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/357941024332032/

 

As I lay awake last night trying to make sense of all of this, I began to think about what I shared with you all yesterday…that no matter what we go through there is a melody that Jesus gives us, which sees us through EVERYTHING we experience in this life. I cried out, what song could there possibly be playing in my life now in all this weight of sorrow. And then I remembered back to a time long ago at another time when my young 12 year old heart was broken and bruised, attending church camp I chose to sing a song for talent night, and that song became my life song which has carried me through each moment of my life ever since. The song is How Great Thou Art. It carries me right now through this experience as well.

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

I can just see the 19 firefighters walking in their line, through the woods and forest with those big boulders. I see the birds taking flight and the creek beds dry as the hot breeze blows through the trees. And I see Jesus in that line with them, Just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace. The 20^th person in that hotshot crew was Christ.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

I believe with all my heart that our loving God did not allow the firefighters to suffer, regardless of how we think they died. God was there to take them home to heaven in an instant of time.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Christ came yesterday to take them home, and I can see them as their spirits rose from their bodies up heaven bound, and their eyes were on Jesus, and joy filled their hearts. “They could, released from the bodies that kept them earthbound, now truly look at our Savior and singing, “My God How Great Thou Art”

They died doing what they were not just called to do, they died doing what they loved….fighting fires.

It is hard to think of all the lives that are left behind, all of those in our community who are in shock, the families who are grieving so at their loss.

How can we find God in this? I say how we can NOT find God in this. The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our shoulder to cry on, and our blanket of peace.

We grieve, we cry, we break down as our knees shake and we crumble to the ground under the weight of the grief of our community.

And God gently places his arms around us, and comforts us, give us the peace that passes all understanding.

So today, as we await the names to be released, as we wait for the memorial at 4pm today, as we begin the long process of healing, I share my song out to those in the depth of sorrow ‘My God How Great Thou Art’

Thank you all, for your love and prayers, as we grieve with our EMS family.

Rev. Charlotte

Written by Regina Brett, , of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Precious Dragonflies

The Dragonfly Rebecca gave me

The Dragonfly from Doris Newton

This past Thursday at Book Study I looked down where I had placed my teaching materials, and there on top was a beautiful dragonfly pin on top. I turned around to the women in the study and asked who put it there, and with the quietness of her sweet spirit one of the ladies said, "I did. I found it in the Fry's parking lot, and I know how much you like dragonflies, so I brought it to you."

I could not believe this was happening. My eyes filled with tears as I explained to the group why this dragonfly meant so much to me. It all had to do with Doris Newton, one of my hospice patients.

Her memorial story is written below. I copied it from my Peaceful Journey Memorial Journal where I wrote about each of my patients.

My heart was so touched..it was a God moment for sure, because just last week the other dragonfly pin I had received from Doris had broken. Now she had left another one for Rebecca to find and bring to me. I thank God for Rebecca's heart and her thinking about how much dragonflies now mean to me. Thank you so much Rebecca!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Story of Doris Newton Hospice Patient 2006

When I first met Doris and her husband Keith, I have to admit I felt a little hesitant because Keith was a retired Baptist minister, and I was unsure how he would receive a non-traditional female minister. At the first visit however it became very clear that Keith was a true Pastor with a heart of love for everyone. They shared about searching for their own spiritual walk, first studying Mormonism, and Keith said to this day he admires their philosophy and dedication and the way they take care of their own people. Neither of them showed any signs of harsh judgments of anyone with different beliefs. It was truly a blessing to see.

Over the months that followed I met Geri, Doris’ sister, who was filled with Christ’s love and held the compassion of Jesus as foremost in her life also.We developed a wonderful relationship and our visits were full of laughter, joking and even talks about Doris’ favorite TV show, 24. I have to admit here that because of Doris, I have become a follower of the show myself.

It still is amazing to me the impact that we were able to have upon each other all because we offered each other love. It taught me the importance of loving unconditionally, of bringing peace to people who are caregivers, as well as to those who are facing their death.In return love and peace flows from them to me. Love truly conquers all.

The last weeks of Doris life were very stressful. It took a lot of work for our whole team, and from Doris’ caregiver nieces who came into town from out of state to help with precious Auntie, to get her pain free, and hence another gracious lesson presented through Doris was the need for our hospice team to work cohesively together, and in this instance we all worked so very well together it was like a flowing river. We flowed around a few rocks, but ultimately Doris was able to reach a rest stage and do her soul work and relax into her transition.

At one point her niece Sandy, plus Geri and Keith were struggling a great deal as to knowing what to say to Doris, wondering why she was lingering, and even Doris herself was questioning why God would not take her home. I brought out the book Final Gifts for the family to read. Even before the visit was finished, Keith had read the first story and let me know it was just what he needed to help him understand how to talk to Doris about death.

Keith shared with me on subsequent visits that all his life as a pastor he felt uncomfortable talking with people about death, and their own Pastor who came to see Doris a few days before she died told the family that he knew she was going to heaven, he just didn’t know how to help her get there. What an honor it was to teach the beautiful spiritual family how to talk to the dying, how to understand the things she said and did, and what she might need to help her on her way.

Once she was pain free she did reach a resting place where she could do her soul work…work left over from being abandoned by her father when she was young. This was what I believe she needed to work through before she could let go. She asked about her dad several times before she died, wanting to know if he was with their mother in heaven.

Doris and her family taught me again that the greatest gift we can give to people who are dying is to be able to LISTEN to them, hear beyond their “I am all right, I have no pain.” And see the pain written on their faces, and feel the pain in their hearts. Dedication from the team brought Doris to that final place of rest and for that I will be eternally grateful.

On a glad morning when this life was over…Doris flew away. It was April 13, 2006

The morning she left this world, I got the news that she had died. I went on a few visits and stopped at Safeway to get something for lunch. As I was returning to the car I saw something shiny right by the drivers side door, on the ground. I stooped down and in amazement I picked up beautiful dragonfly pin.

I immediately remembered a conversation I had with Doris. She had a lot of dragonflies on bushes in her yard and she could watch them outside her windows. She really thought they were beautiful and told me that if there was any way that she could get a message to me after she died; letting me know that she was at peace and pain free she would do so through a dragonfly. I remembered how we had spoken about dragonflies being a symbol of the afterlife and I knew that Doris was letting me know she had made it safely to heaven, and had left a reminder of her journey with me.

I love you Doris.

To kill a Kidney Stone

Back in November I began to have quite a bit of blood in my urine. No infection was found I had to go see a urologist. They did a Ct with dye, and a cystoscopy which was really cool. I saw my beautifully pink, healthy bladder and even saw the left kidney duct open and squirt into the bladder. Way cool!

At first look, the radiologist didn't see anything abnormal, but I have continued to have severe abdominal pains and back pain. The pains go from feeling like menstrual cramps (I do not have my uterus anymore), to feeling like I am in labor, pacing the floor, breathing right, finding my focal spot and last but not least moaning and crying. (I didn't even cry when I gave birth to my children!) So this is really hardcore pain...now that I think of it, my tattoo didn't hurt this bad.

Yesterday I got a call from my urologist saying that he took another really long, close look at my CT and he believes that I have a 5 or 6 mm stone in my Right Kidney. Wonderful! Finally an answer. I ave another CT with dye scheduled for my birthday..Happy Birthday to me!

Being the natural girl that I am, I like to try to find natural remedies, so I went on line and found hundreds of positive posts about using lemon juice to break up the stone. Sounded like a plan. Marty went and bought me a whole lot of lemons. Here is my wonderful 12 hours. IT is a goof thing that Marty was working today..I was a wee bit fussy.

protocol started at 9 am

I can't believe I am doing this

Yucky

 

Morgan? Did I hear you call my name?

I just finished watching a movie that just really was unexpectedly probably one of the best movies I have seen in a very long time. It is a movie like the movies I grew up watching, with an actual meaning and a lesson to be learned from the watching of it.

It is a movie with Morgan Freeman in it, which is what attracted me to it on this quiet afternoon of my 'pajama day.' I settled down with Inky (our fraidy cat since the new dogs scared her two weeks ago) in my lap, and a cup of tea, we cuddled up and to my astonishment the main female character was named "Charlotte,"

I have to say here that Marty and I just watched a show last night where the woman's name was Charlotte. I grew up never hearing anyone named Charlotte except the woman in Hitchcock's movie, "Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte."  Not exactly a role model for my name! And of course the awesome Spider in Charlotte's Web. Now that is more like it! A strong woman who can write! I like that.

Anyway, in this past year I have seen a significant number of movies and TV shows where one of the characters is named, "Charlotte." Which is pretty cool for me!

A little known fact which Marty and Sarah know is that I have always thought that Morgan Freeman would make an excellent grandfather. I did not grow up with a really close grandfather on either paternal or maternal side, although I did have Grandpa John, my step Grandfather who married my Dad's Mom. So I missed having a Grandpa to spoil me, or give me advice. All the things I really wanted in a Grandfather.

When ever I see Morgan Freeman in a movie, I just pretend for those short hours that he is my Grandpa, even though in reality he is more suited age wise to be my father. He is 75 years old, making him 18 when I was born.

The name of the movie I watched today is "The Magic of Belle Isle".

Release Date: July 6, 2012 (limited)
Studio: Magnolia Pictures
Director: Rob Reiner
Screenwriter: Guy Thomas
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Virginia Madsen, Madeline Carroll, Kenan Thompson, Fred Willard

 Plot Summary: Reuniting with his director from the hit film, "The Bucket List," Morgan Freeman plays Monte Wildhorn, a famous Western novelist whose struggle with alcoholism has sapped his passion for writing. He takes a lakeside cabin for the summer in picturesque Belle Isle, and befriends the family next door—an attractive single mom Charlotte (Virginia Madsen) and her young daughters—who help him find inspiration again


It was a lovely movie, with me playing opposite Morgan Freeman, Okay, a girl can wish can't she?
For 2 hours I heard Morgan Freeman say my name and was just pleased as can be.

Isn't it funny how the little things in life can be some of the best things life brings to us? Actually it is the little things that makes life worth living!

I hope everyone has enjoyed an afternoon as blessed as mine.
 

The Rest of the Story-Bella

Mama's New Girl: La Bella Noche Matzke

 

Charlotte just loves Jake

 Friday dawned with Charlotte energized from her restful night. She did really great in her kennel, but once she was up for the morning, she had Jake worn out by 8 o'clock.He came into the office and tried to hide in the corner. I text-ed Sarah to let her know that she didn't need to come up to meet Charlotte, because I would be taking her back to her old home. Sarah responded that she didn't want me to take her back yet. She said, "What if Charlotte is my dog?"

 A few minutes later she text-ed me that she had been looking at Craigslist for dogs, and she had found a black German shepherd named Buffy. There was another German shepherd also, but when she tried to find it again, each time she clicked on the link..every one of them came up to Buffy's page. Sarah said she would email them about her. Not too long after a woman responded, and Sarah called her and they set up a time for Sarah to come see Buffy. 

 Here is the ad on Craigslist:
This is Buffy! She is a 3yr old black German Shepherd female. She is spayed and up to date on her shots - she was rescued off of the Euthanasia list at the county shelter. Buffy is looking for the perfect home! which may take awhile as she is a very special lady.
She is looking for:
Someone with prior Shepherd experience.
Someone that will go slow with her - she is shy and a little fearful
Someone with a fenced in yard! - she would not be a good apartment dog.
Someone without children younger than the age of eight.

She is a very good girl but needs people willing to go slow and let her come to them - she loves attention but was probably abused in the past and is scared of people at first.

Buffy walks very well on a leash and she rides well in the car. She is crate trained and good with cats and most other dogs (She likes dogs smaller than her best!) She takes treats very gently! Buffy is a kid focused dog who has bounded very well with my 8yr old daughter. I believe once she has time to bond with a family of her own that she will turn out to be quite protective of them!
She has been evaluated by a professional German Shepherd handler who was very impressed with her.

When Sarah arrived, she saw a beautiful black German Shepherd, who had a very sad story. She was frightened of every little sound. She was afraid of men especially. She got along with other dogs and cats, but was extremely shy and startled very easily. No one wanted to adopt such a scared dog. so "Dog Love Rescue" came to the pound and saved Buffy from being killed. She was on the euthanasia list for the next morning, so she really and truly is a miracle rescue story. Marianne, the Adoption Representative, told Sarah that no one had ever been able to get Buffy to come to them so quickly. Sarah called me and said she had paid the adoption fee and was on the way up to Prescott Valley.

Jake and Bella playing

She said "Mom, Buffy was named after Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so she will be your psychic vampire hunter, and I will have Charlotte to always protect me." Of course that caused some tears from us both. They arrived and we allowed the dogs to greet each other slowly, and soon all three were playing together. Charlotte and Buffy are submissive females, and Jake is now the Alpha 2 male (Marty is the main Alpha male). He puffed himself up and made himself taller than Buffy and the pack was formed. 

Everything was going very well, we got home from picking up Charlotte's kennel from her former owners. We let the dogs out and when they came in I put Buffy's leash around the top of our rocking chair just to hod her until we got our Chinese food ready. All of a sudden something spooked Buffy, so she started running, dragging the rocker with her, straight towards the back door. she she did, we heard a huge HISS and that angry meow that comes from cats when they are very unhappy. I was trying to get to Buffy, and looked down and there was Inky, our BIG cat, stuck half way out of the couch. Right then, Charlotte runs over, and Inky swipes at her, makes more screeching sounds and I reached down to help Inky out. She bit me. Sarah put Charlotte out on the back porch as I was lifting the couch up so Inky could get out. When I lifted it, Inky went with it. Somehow she had become stuck in between to bars, as this section of the couch is a recliner. More screeching from Inky, more hissing and the Sarah tried to help her out, only to get bitten also. At this point, Charlotte is outside looking in and barking, Inky is hissing and lashing out, and Jake then steps in and starts to go for Inky because she had bit us. Sarah had to get Jake and put him in the dining room. She comes back and holds the couch while I look to see what Inky is stuck on. I see that her tail and one back leg have gotten between the bars, so I pulled to recliner release and pulled the foot-piece out. Finally Inky was free and she took of like lightening! She did have some bleeding, but we could not entice her to come out from under our bed. Inky will get a bath today sometime after the Viking game.

 

We got Charlotte kenneled for the night, we started thinking of better names for Buffy. That name just didn't fit her personality...she would run from any vampire! We looked up a lot of names but the one that first came to me even before looking on the internet, was Bella. Sarah thought that I meant Bella, as in the Twilight movies, but that wasn't it. The name came to me because Bella means beautiful, and I started saying Bella Noche, which means beautiful night, so that is her new name. 

We checked on Inky, and she was under the covers of our bed, and still was bleeding from somewhere, but she wouldn't let us look. I finally was able to pick her up, and could not find any place that was cut. I put her in the Reiki room and shut the door. Did some work on her for healing and left her in there. About an hour later I heard her meowing, and knew she was finished with her Reiki session! She ran into our room and hid again. The next morning after I made the bed up she was trying to get under the covers, so I put another blanket on top and she was fine hiding on the bed.

Sarah ready to take Charlotte home

Sarah decided to take Charlotte home yesterday to allow her time to get adjusted to the apartment before Sarah had to work today. We got everything she needed for Charlotte and they set off for Phoenix. Charlotte in the front seat head out the window, in total ecstasy. Since Charlotte is a mini-lab her size is perfect for Sarah. She has lots of energy, but now Sarah has a dog who can run with her each morning. It is so cute that she cocks her head just like Ebony used to do when we talked to her. Sarah is very happy to finally have a dog of her own. I am glad that when she does come up that they will all get along.

An interesting tidbit about Charlotte. She lived on Leprechaun Drive, and was born on St. Patrick's Day. She is an Irish dog, and fits right into our family!

 All was quiet and peaceful in the house once again. I brushed Bella and got a lot of her summer coat off and decided to give her a bath, which went very well. She ran around as most dogs do after a bath, and then settled down next to Jake to go to sleep. I went to shower myself and when I returned to the den, Bella was sleeping on the couch, with her head on the pillow, just like Ebony used to do. Jake was on the floor by her, and I settled in my couch position and we all fell asleep after the energy filled day we had.

 
 This morning when Marty was coming home I called him to let him know that he would probably need to approach Bella slowly, as we were told she didn't like men. Well....he came in, and of course Bella went straight to him and wanted attention just like Jake. Anytime she would walk away, she turned right back around and sat closer for more hugs and attention. Instant bond once again. Hallelujah. Finally after the past weeks of trying to find a dog that fit perfectly in our home....Bella is a perfect fit. She needs to grow into her head and feet. She only weighs 60 pounds, and is very thin, much like Jake was when he wandered into our yard so many years ago. We will have her fattened up in no time! I think she's a keeper!!!!

No fear of men here !!!!

Bella is a cuddler!!!!

Here's Charlotte

Here is Charlotte

Well, today during the book study I said that I didn’t know why Ebony needed to leave us, and that maybe it was that the lab we were going to see needed us. One of Marty's co-workers who is really into rescue dogs, told him that there was another dog waiting for our loving home....

We arrived at their home in Cherry, and were introduced to the smallest black lab we have ever seen, she only weighs 50 pounds, but is smaller than Ebony (probably cause Ebony’s hair was so fluffy!). Anyway, the she ran to greet us, and I asked them, what her name was?

 “Charlotte”.

 “What?” I said.

“You know, Charlotte, like Charlotte’s Web.”

We just about fainted right there. A dog with my name…who would have ever thought that would happen? I laughed later and told Marty, well, I won’t ever have a grandchild named after me, so I might as well have a dog with my name. I am honored!

She and Jake hit it off very well, she is a very submissive dog and no aggression whatsoever, with lots of energy, like Ebony, and even has the same color of eyes that our Ebony had. Jake responded to this new female by acting his male part in humping her (a behavior we have only seen him do with male dogs to show them he was superior). After they had played and played, and were licking each others faces…it was obvious that Jake was a happy boy again. A tired one, but happy.

The drive home was quiet. We have never experienced this if we had Ebony and Jake in the vehicle together, there was continual whining, which drove us crazy. Both dogs were good as gold, they laid down and there was a peace filled truck with NO whining! YEAH!!!!

We are going to have a temporary trial of Charlotte for a few days to see if she has too much energy for Jake, but so far it is good. She needs training still, since she is a puppy, for walking, we will need to get her a harness for walks, but she is just so beautiful. Her coat shines and she doesn’t shed like a lot of labs do.

So, I believe that God most assuredly had His hand in this one!

A rare moment of stillness