Boundaries & Limits - Keys to Freedom

I received this in my email box and I whole heartily agree with it all, so I thought I would share it. Why create the wheel when one already exists?

I have always said that boundaries are a good thing and we should practice them every day because they help us manage our energy. We use boundaries to stay aligned with what we want to be and have in our lives, and what serves us best. While we tend to think of them as a means of keeping people and things out of our lives, they really don’t. Instead, they act as the energetic admission criteria for our connections. Limits represent how far we can or are willing to go in any situation and they become limitations when they prevent us from moving forward. Together, boundaries and limits are our keys to freedom because they help us manage our energy, who we connect with and who connects with us, what we allow into our lives and what we reject.

Imagine yourself without boundaries, where anyone and anything can enter your life at will and do whatever they want to do. Have you ever had no boundaries with someone? They do not respect you and do whatever they want to do and you tolerate it, until you reach the moment where you can no longer do so. Then you react in anger and blame them for mistreating you but it isn’t their fault, you had no boundaries, no way of communicating to them what you consider to be acceptable behavior, and how you expect people to act around you. Do you have boundaries for the amount and type of respect, honor, and love you want from others? Is it time to set some boundaries? They may not make others change their behavior, but they will remove the people who don’t respect and honor you from your life.

Limits represent the most or the least that we will do in a situation. For example, I enjoy many outdoor activities but I don’t like camping. So while I will go hiking, kayaking, and  spend time in nature, I won’t do activities that include camping. What are your limits with the situations and people in your life? What are you willing to do and where do you draw the line? It’s important to know our limits because they, with boundaries, teach people how to act around us. They represent the energetic price of admission for everyone and everything we connect with or who want to connect with us.
Limits become limitations when we are afraid to allow change and transformation to occur. If we limit ourselves to what we have known in the past, then anything new becomes part of a fear zone that we are afraid to enter. Boundaries become walls when are afraid that we have to defend ourselves against people and situations. That only happens when we aren’t grounded in our own energy and don’t respect our own boundaries. If we, for example, are so concerned that people won’t like us, then we will willingly remove our boundaries to have the love we want from others, whether or not they are a good fit energetically.

We need boundaries and limits to be clear in our intention for our lives. It doesn’t serve anyone when we are without boundaries because without them, we attract people and situations from our fears, rather than from our highest energies. We also need to know and respect our limits, those things that we do not want to do or do not believe we can do, without allowing them to become limitations.  And we need to respect others’ boundaries and limits too, honoring their choices whether or not we agree with them, allowing what resonates and is aligned with us to joyfully connect with us and everything that does not, to move on along its own path.

And in case you were wondering, I have been camping before and it’s because of my former camping experiences that I won’t do it any more. I prefer a soft bed, hot shower, and room service for breakfast.

Copyright (c) 2014 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved.  You may quote, translate, reprint or refer to this message if you mention the author name and include a working link to http://enlighteninglife.com

Don't Fight These Hands

 by Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face, just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run, to where will you run?

'cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in and give you life
I wanna give you life

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

'Cause I, I love you, I want you to know
That I, yeah I love you, I'll never let you go
No, no

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side
My hands are holding you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFvQQt6Nbh8



This song was playing as I drove up the mountains today bringing home our new vehicle. I love the words, 'don't fight these hands that are holding you,' and I became so completely immersed with the goodness of Spirit that I felt tears running down my cheeks. The love of God in that moment held me so close that I could feel totally loved and accepted for who I am.


I realized a few weeks ago that I was actually afraid to pray for anything that I wanted or felt I needed in my life. I shared this with my daughter Sarah one afternoon as we talked about praying for her new job to come into her life. It is easy to pray for someone else, but my track record of praying for things and situations to change for the better just plain old sucks. Long life story of unanswered prayers and relationships that are so broken I cannot repair them.

A few days later we went to surprise Sarah for her birthday. We met her in the parking lot of the Vineyard church she worships at. How I have missed that kind of worship, the kind that just flows with the Spirit, no one looking at their watches to see if the pastor goes over his allotted time. Everyone there to worship God in their own way,  and it was just a beautiful worship service. They sang a song which I was not familiar with but soon I was singing with my heart and soul the words of God's love for me. We were singing to God: How great is your love for me? In other words, how great is the love that God has for each and every one of us?  That love is so great that there is absolutely NOTHING that can separate us from that love. Nothing. Not one thing. No matter what it may look like on the outside, whether prayers seem to fall on deaf ears....God's love still holds me up, holds you up.

Right at the moment that I 'got the message' of the song I realized that the prayers have been answered, just not the way that I think they should be answered. The answer came and God's love washed over me, like waves washing over me in the ocean. 


Here is what the Spirit spoke to me that July 13, 2014 (F.Y.I. it would have been my Mom's 94th birthday, so of course I could hear her also saying that everything is gonna be all right)

How much do I love you Charlotte? More that I can ever know

I want you to love them as I have loved you.Okay, but I thought I was already doing that.

How do I love you? You wait for me to come to you in my brokenness.

Yes, that's it, I wait for you to come to me. I never plead with you. I don't push you. I wait for you to come running into the throne room, like the child of mine that you are. You jump into my lap and tell me all the latest news. I listen and then what do I tell you? You tell me to leave my concerns with you and that I can go along and play in this garden of life because you have everything handled.

That's it. I just simply love you until you lay your burdens down, letting go of even the tiniest thread of "I can fix it", and you step back and allow me to handle anything that concerns you.

I left that service with a clean heart and left my cares with God. I came home and put my prayers in the Reiki bowl with all the other prayers from clients and friends. Guess what?

Sarah - new job.
Marty - passed his math with an A
Us - new car (one that has everything I asked for and more)

All within these last two weeks. Is God still on the throne? Can I get an Amen?

Oh, and those relationships that need mending, somehow, someway, some day...if it happens that's fine by me, and if it doesn't...it is not a reflection of my worth in this glorious Kingdom of God which is NOW...not in some future place, but Now, God...Your kingdom come and Your will be done....

Gwin ~ Our Reiki Resident

 

 

 In 2011 I became a Reiki Master. For me the training taught me how to focus my God given gift of healing touch in a way that would benefit my clients for their highest good. I spent the next 3 years bringing healing peace in my Reiki room, which is our front bedroom. Towards the end of 2013 all my clients had moved on, either physically to another state or moving on to other spiritual modalities that fit them, such as acupuncture. I continued to practice on Marty, Sarah and our four- legged kids. I have also used Reiki on others pets.

The Reiki Room converted into Gwin's room

When it became apparent that Gwin would be moving home with us there was no other room for her to go into but the Reiki room. She was so excited because when we first met in 2010 she came regularly for sessions which were tremendously helpful with some pain issues she struggled with.
She told everyone who came to see her that first few weeks that she was in the Reiki room, and amazingly enough she was pain free. She went through a few days that her back pain was bad when we rolled her from side to side, and she was prescribed something for pain, which she has not taken since I did a Reiki session on her focusing on that specific pain.

Yet that is not the story I want to tell today. I know that Healing touch is real and that it works, but this week I realized that even without me 'working on' Gwin she has made some tremendously awesome changes since she is our Reiki Resident.

Gwin has been extremely concerned with her appearance ever since we have known her, and to hear her tell her story she has been this was her whole life. When we came into her life in 2010 she was continually on a protein shake diet, which ultimately ended up almost taking her life in 2012 and was the main contributing factor of her being placed in assisted living. Still she remained a woman who needed to be totally 'put together' before she would go for an outing or have company visit her.

 

Gwin 12 hours after the TIA

Just this week, after her experiencing a TIA on Monday, she made a remarkable recovery in just a short 12 hours. Yet that isn't the story I want to share today. What I think is so extremely important is the Gwin who hated her weight gain over the past two years due to her inactivity no longer exists. This is how I know that statement is true.


When we first took on 24/7 care of Gwin we could see her belly and she was always trying to cover it up. Finally one day I called it her Buddha Belly and reminded her of the Buddha figures that remain in the Reiki room. Her belly always gets baby lotion on it an she loves the feel of the tummy massage. She actually laughed and rubbed her belly that day and from that moment on she has not one time tried to hide it from anyone, not even her bath aide. Over the course of this past week I have walked in to find her with her covers off and her beautiful Buddha belly open for all the world to see. I go in and ask her why she is trying to show the neighbors her Buddha Belly (her window is bed level so she can see her bird feeder). She laughs at me and says, "Because I Can!!!"

Here she is no longer scared to show off her belly to the world. She rubs it for good luck and health!
And who knows, maybe that Buddha Belly energy has combined with the Reiki Energy and that is why she dad not die when she had the high fevers and her latest UTI was caused by e-coli in her urinary tract. I believe it so.

I love to see her accepting her beauty 'just as she is', for anyone who has seen Gwin without makeup on, knows just how beautiful she really is. Now she is experiencing the acceptance of herself for the first time in her 68 years.

   

Gwin loves her Reiki Bear which I found the day before she moved home

 

    

 I am grateful that the Reiki Energy that is alive in Gwin's room heals

 physically, mentally, soulfully, and spiritually.

Thank you God.

A Truly Poopy Day

I awoke to the sound of our oldest German Shepherd retching, I rolled over and got out of bed called him into the bedroom and let all three dogs outside from the door in our bedroom that opens onto our back porch. The pungent aroma of dog poop filled my nostrils as I turned the corner from the hallway into the kitchen. Before I could discover that pile of poop I saw a huge area where he had urinated right in front of the entertainment center. Thank God that we have tile. I cleaned that up right away, and looked for the pile of poop. He had deposited a huge load on the mat in front of the back door that also opens to the back porch. He also had eaten some poop and vomited it all up in a massive frothy ooze next to the pile of poop.

I cleaned it all up, put the rug in the washer with lots of Oxyclean and Tide, then I let the dogs in and fed them before I peeked into Gwin's room to see if she was awake. She was, so I went in and got her ready for the day. I made her lox and bagels for breakfast, one of her favorite, and it looked like the day would be bright and sunny..

Gwin's bath aide was due in at 10 o'clock, which is great that she has someone coming in twice a week to bathe her. About an hour before she arrived Gwin told me that she needed to pee. So, we went through our normal steps:

1. Unfasten her depends
2. We clasp hands and I pull her up to a half standing stature.
3. I let the depends fall on the bed as she stands. (now this step has worked since she came home on Saturday).
4. She puts her hands around my neck and I move her over to the potty and sit her down.
5. Most times I can get her down in position the first time, but today I had to stand her up again and reposition her, the sit her down again.
6. Cover the legs with an afghan and leave her to do her business.

I heard her call my name and when I got into the room she said she didn't have to pee after all.  I had her lean forward so I could clean her up, and to both of our surprises she had joined Jake in loosening her load. I got that all cleaned up..it is absolutely awesome when she does go in the potty and not in her depends. She was resting comfortably in bed when the bath aide came and gave her a potty chair bath...that's the only way to describe it, as it is not a bed bath yet.

A good friend stopped by the bring Gwin some magazines and some other items, which is such sweet!
Thanks Jeannette!

I went outside to water plants and move a water fountain from the back porch to the front and another couple of friends stopped by with leftover meals-on-wheels they had. We are so incredibly blessed to have such compassionate friends. I went in and heated up lunch and went back to the porch to finish getting the fountain to flow right. I finished that project and went in to read my three chapters for book study next week.

I hear Gwin call my name and she tells me that she needs to pee. I follow the above steps, only when I step back to get the afghan to cover her legs I see that poop has slid out of her depends and landed on the floor. I have it on my slippers, Gwin had it on her left foot, squished in between her toes! All I could do is laugh. What else is there to do at a moment like this?

I finally got it all cleaned up..I love the Green Machine! Huge lesson learned...I shall always take the depends off in bed from now on.

.....and it is only 3:00 pm....the day is not over

Sister of the Heart

 

Gwinnie arrives 'HOME'

It has been almost a week ago that our beautiful friend Gwin came home to live with us. She had been at a care home but we realized she was not getting the care that we thought she was getting, so we chose to bring her home where we know that she will get the very best care that Marty and I can give her.

She arrived to see a 'Welcome Home Gwinnie' sign on the garage door, and her smile got even brighter. When she got inside the house she saw a lot of her friends and she was so surprised!We had a welcome home party and everyone had such a good time.

Gwin's friends love her so much!

She had her favorite cake and ice cream and balloons that were made for the princess she is. She got daffodils and daisies to brighten her room.

She is ready for cake, not another photo!

You just can't help but love Gwin

Her Spirit Space is ready

 She loves her new room. She likes it because it was the Reiki Room where I did Reiki on my clients. Interestingly enough, all my clients have moved away or are trying other modalities for their healthcare. So my schedule cleared up in order for us to take care of Gwin. I brought the things from her walls at the care home and put them all up so she could be in her 'Sacred Space', and know she was truly HOME. There are photos of her when she was young and photos of her Mother who died when she was 5. There are butterflies everywhere because she loves them so much. I even found a Reiki Bear at Goodwill that was destined to be in  her room.

Her Reiki Bear and a new Hope sign

We made a promise to Gwin 4 years ago that we would bring her home when it came time. It is time and we will give her the best care that we can. We will laugh together.
We will cry together, We will pick on each other. She will watch hundreds of hours of TV and Movies through the Roku and we will be listening to the baby monitor for those times she needs us.

WELCOME HOME GWINNIE

I don't know who is happier, Inky or Gwin

Happy 2014 ? It is What it Is and I Need to Slow Down

Happy 2014 to my back yard, I even have twigs in my hair

It is hard to believe that it is already February 15, but it is. 

It is hard to believe that the last time I posted was in October, but it is. 

2013 seemed to just fly by with a lot of ups and downs, and I was so looking forward to 2014, As I look back on last year I realized that it was a year of pushing myself to do anything. Everything that seemed so easy to do in 2012 became extremely hard to do in 2013. While I thoroughly enjoy the things I am involved in, it was a struggle to make myself do them. I kept trying to blame it all on my migraines, I did have some doozies. I started to experience some really strange leg pain, not associated with my sciatica. It would come on at odd times, and end at add times. I kept gaining weight, only my eating habits never changed. I blamed this on my broken foot. I could go on and on with symptoms, that made me feel as if I was literally falling apart.

I saw my neurologist in December and he started me on Gabapentin for my migraines since out insurance changed when Marty went back to LifeLine full time, and the Lyrica I was on was close to $500.00 a month. The new med did seem to help; I only had 7 migraines in December. I was happy to have found something so cheap that worked. So I was ready  for the New year with joy and peace.

I saw my PCP on January 3 and everything looked good.Our cruise was fabulous! Sarah went with and it was all our Christmas gift and my Birthday gift wrapped into one. We just thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. 

That first week back I felt like I had come down with the flu, body aches, low grade fever, intestinal symptoms as well. But I forced myself to do the things on my to do list, and got through the week okay, Friday morning I received a call from my neurologist's assistant telling me that they had gotten a copy of my labs that were drawn after the cruise, and she told me that Dr. MacKenzie wanted me to call my PCP right away because my thyroid was 'off'. SO I called Dr. Shirley's office right away, then called Marty and we both started looking up what 'your thyroid is off' meant.

To our amazement, I had every single symptom of hypothyroidism. The thyroid controls just about every bodily function you can imagine, hence my weight gain, my panic attacks for no reason, my mood swings, my lethargy, the weird pain in my leg and even....migraines. Chantel, my PCP's assistant called me at 6 p.m. becasue she didn't want me worrying over the week-end. My TSH level was 6.4, normal range is .36-3.74. So, yes, hypothyroidism is the diagnosis. Another pill to add to my shoebox, Levothyroxine. I was supposed to take it easy until the dosage gets right, which can take from 6 to 8 weeks or more. Have I?

I feel like I have been cooped up in this house since our return from the cruise. Just shopping wears me out, and on the medicine everything wears me out. This morning, while Marty slept (he has a cold, and I have a chest cold), I got up and took the dogs out, and as I was picking up their lovely poop piles, I noticed leaves that needed to be picked up from the dog park. So, I got the rake out and started raking the rocks to get the leaves. I kept seeing more and more that needed raked, so I moved into my garden area and began to rake and then I was sitting down pulling out the vinca from around my iris that are just coming up. I got the trimmer out and was cutting back all the vinca that had grown over the little rock wall, when I looked up and Marty was sitting on the stairs watching me. He asked me what in the world was I doing?

I told him that I was getting my 15 minutes of vitamin D from the sun, although I had been out there for over an hour. He joined in and we got the whole back yard cleaned up, ready for Spring. It felt so good to be doing something in the sunshine!

I could hear both of my Moms (I have two here now) telling me that I need to slow down, and I answered back that I have. Yet, the list that keeps going through my head tells me that I have not slowed down.

1. Beginning in December I worked on two scrapbooks for our Fall Fun Fest Co-Chairs. I had them all ready for the Outreach meeting on the 13th of January, the Monday after our return from the cruise. 
2. We hosted a party for Gwin in December so she could have as much time with her closest friends to celebrate her 16th year of sobriety.
3. I went to all three church services at Trinity Lutheran on the 12th of January because they are opening their doors for an Interfaith meal on the last Saturday of the month, and us girls from Emmanuel wanted to show our support for them.
4. We made the decision to continue to attend church at Emmanuel despite our disagreements with the Pastor and Council. Marty has resigned from being Co-chair of the Building Ministry, and I have pulled back, I will only do my book study and the SOS group.
5. I prepared 2 more scrapbooks for our Interfaith Meal co-chairs. They were from 2012 and 2013 Christmas meals that were served.

   

   My scrapbook station. I need a craft room!!!!

6. I am through with 2 of Ebony's scrapbooks. They were really hard to make myself do, I still miss her even though we have Bella and Esme. I have one book left to finish.
7. I made a scrapbook from 2013 Sisters of the Spirit events.
   

   

   Two scrapbooks for Ebony, One for SOS, and 2013 papers to file

8. My book study is meeting on Wednesdays now, so I plan for that each week. We are reading a really awesome book:
   
9. I got everything together for our February SOS (Sisters of the Spirit) event, and made it extra special for 'My Girls'. I made it through although my Mom Carol told me to go home and rest because I looked worn out, you just can't get anything by her.
   
   
10. I made the cake for February's Interfaith meal on the 14th.Marty delivered it early Friday morning because I was still running a low grade fever.
    
    
11. I am going every other Friday morning to my Cursillo grouping.
12. Gwin is taking more and more of our time as she continues to decline.
13. Cleaned up the back yard today.

14. 

    The grapevine gazebo area

    

    the sycamore tree

    
    

    
    

    
    

    Wrote this blog, and I am done, until tomorrow when it starts all over...
    
    
    Guess I really do need to slow down. My good friend who struggles so much with her thyroid keeps telling me I have to slow down for my own best interest.
    
    

    

    the Wisteria in February

    It is what it is and I will be given whatever I need from Creator to make it through.
    I will slow down.
    
    

The Beer Garden at Church (Praise You in This Storm)

*please scroll all the way through the post to the link for Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm*

Marty and I joined the church where we worship now in 2010. We started going in the fall of 2009, after my stroke, and my departure from working as a full time Spiritual Counselor at YRMC Hospice. We both felt that it was time to find a church that we could call 'family', and 'home'. When we walked through the doors of the church we felt accepted, loved and found places where our gifts could be used to share God's love with our neighbors in Prescott Valley.

We joined in the Spring of 2010, and found our niche's. I was on the Care and Nurture Team, I helped to birth the Healing Prayer Ministry, so that people who needed prayer could come up and receive anointing with oil and a prayer during communion. I was asked to come to staff meetings every Monday morning, and all seemed to be right with the world. Marty came to co-chair the Building Ministry and he enjoyed it a lot.

There was a vacancy for an administrative assistant in the church office in the Spring of 2011 so I began to volunteer my time in the office two to 3 days a week, and when the office manager went on vacation. I loved being in the office. I felt that it was a calling from God to help the office manager and I just loved seeing everyone who came into the church for Bible Studies and other needs. It allowed me to get familiar with people from 1st service and I just loved getting my Wednesday hugs from Arlene and Isabel...their hugs were just the best!

I was hired on as paid staff in August 2011 and it was a perfect fit for me and for the Office Manager. We just seemed to be two peas in a pod. We worked very well together and the office ran really smoothly. I took care of the computers at church, and with the help of an IT guy we were able to get all the computers working in a network that was easy to use, and things were rolling along very well. Life was good.

As time went on, and Marty and I took on the role as caregivers for our dear friend Gwinnie, my time was split between church, and many trips to Gwin's apartment to see to her needs. I dropped out of the Care and Nurture Ministry and the Healing Prayer Ministry because there was not enough of 'me' to go around. Taking care of Gwin became a full time job, I still had my Reiki practice, and did spiritual counseling on the side also. My live was full, and along with the hectic days, came more and more migraines. Bad ones, the kind that ball you up in the fetal position and you just want to die.

Things changed at church in 2012, when we had a series called, A World Unbroken, which was supposed to be only a few weeks, but it went on and on and on. The details are not important, the outcome from those weeks are. It left our church broken. That is all I can say...and it has not healed one bit. We are being led on this course where there has been no time to just 'BE STILL' and allow healing to occur so that our body may be made whole and well. Very few people made it through those weeks without the brokenness touching their lives in some way. It broke my heart to see precious people so hurt and raw, yet they stayed, as did we, because we had our church 'family' there and we could not abandon ship.

There were a lot of things that happened in 2012 behind the scenes which I found, as a minister myself, to be just so hard to hear, to see and to listen to the aftermath of things done and said to hurt one another. It was just so hard to bear the sorrow that permeated the church. I closed out 2012 by sending in my resignation. I left because the pastor did not want me there, telling me that I was bringing too much negative energy into the office. We had a meeting with Marty and another church member present to clear the air, and it was such a difficult meeting. I was told that I brought too much negative energy into the office. I was told 'I want the Old Charlotte back', meaning he wanted the Charlotte that he knew pre-stroke, when I worked for Hospice. It never occurred to him that I would like to have her back too. We talked about my stroke, my migraines and the fact that not once did he ever come to me and ask why I was quiet, or maybe I was short with him...all because I was working with a migraine. He told me that people were afraid of me. Afraid of me. Really? I guess I am pretty scary.

Another issue he had was that he did not like me using my title Rev. Charlie or Rev. Charlotte, which I had on my name tag, and on my emails from church. He didn't understand how a minster could be happy being an office assistant. I told him that I would do whatever God wanted me to do, no matter what that 'job' was. He told me that I wasn't being the 'healer' that he knew that I was supposed to be because I left the care and nurture team and the healing prayer team. In other words, he wanted me to do what he deemed was right for me, not things that I knew were right for me.

He broke me that day, broke my spirit into a thousand raindrops carried on the wind of the storm beginning to form all around us.

I am not the first person he has 'broken', and I won't be the last. In fact I think I am in rather good company with those he has done this same thing to. Maybe I should wear a badge of courage for fighting the good fight of faith. I resigned and went on with my life.

I focused my energies on my book study, our evolving women's fellowship 'Sisters of the Spirit', and on our Outreach Ministry which is just beyond phenomenal. The interfaith meal we serve each month is just such a huge blessing to our neighborhood. We serve between 80 and 100 people, and send many sack lunches out on that day.


We are getting prepared for our 4th annual Fall Fun Fest, which is a gift to our neighborhood. It is such an awesome feeling to see little children and their parents come and have a 'free' day where they enjoy a free day of food, games, crafts and more. Last year we fed the whole Prescott Valley Police Force that was on duty that day.

This is the highlight of our Outreach Ministry: GIVING TO OUR COMMUNITY, and we do so much because it is in our hearts to be like Christ....after all aren't we his ambassadors? Aren't we his hands, his feet and his mouth here on earth now? YES, YES, YES!!!!

In the midst of the huge preparation that it takes to put on our Fall Fun Fest, we were told that the church is behind in it's budget, and the church council is going to put on an Oktoberfest the last week-end of the month of October. We were told that the council would fund the whole event and be the worker bees for it also. Most of us involved in Outreach just said, fine, as long as council is putting it on, then we don't have to do anything. After all, October 5th is the Fall Fun Fest, October 11th is our Interfaith Meal, October 10 thru 12 is Women's Cursillo, and quite a number of worker bees of the church are involved in this. Then our Sisters of the Spirit event is Friday October 18. So by the time the last week-end of the month arrives, all of us will need a week-end of R&R.

The powers that be asked for our input, we gave it, they didn't like it, so they are going full force to get the Oktoberfest organized. On this past Sunday, from start to finish the whole service (except for the songs we sang) was focused on money. We are $22,000.00 behind, and we have one month to step up and raise this money. Then just as we are digesting this...we got kicked again. From the pulpit we were told that Pastor was looking forward to having a beer with each and every one of us at the Beer Garden that will be just outside our fellowship hall. You could have heard a pin drop. No way could this be real.

Oh, it is real all right. A beer garden at CHURCH. We remain stunned, shocked, and most assuredly NOT going to participate in that event. NO way, NO how. And they are going to sell tickets.....to people not even associated with the church. So the community that we are supposed to be ministering to can come and drink beer with the Pastor, have a meal and help reduce our debt.

Did no one think first of all, it is just wrong, but second, how many beers does it take to pay off $22 grand? Enough for people to get drunk for sure. And what about the liability?  If we serve someone, who then is impaired and has a wreck...WOW, that will make PV headline news, heck, it probably would be on one of the Phoenix news channels.

Did they think about the people we have at church who struggle with addiction? What if because this event is at church, the person says, "Well if the church is sanctioning this drinking, I guess it is all right for me too."

Did they think about what a horrid example it is for our children? Beer and church is all right. Okay, beer at a kegger is all right. And what about our community at large? Here we are known for our Outreach into the community, where we have a top notch reputation. Know where our reputation with other churches is going to be after October 26th? In the mud.

To top it all off...rumor has it that each of us will be receiving a personal phone call (Aren't we special?) We are also being asked to pay up to date for any of our giving that would match the pledge we made last year.  Hello? Anyone home? We are in a recession. Don't they think that there is a good reason why people may not have given what they pledged? Lost jobs, medical expenses, etc. Plus we will be asked to give that person the amount of our pledge for next year.

It is not the sit in the pew church member who is responsible for this $22,000.00 need. For Marty and I, and those in our inner circle, this is just like the political arena. Washington has overspent, and the little man has to suffer. Well, the Church Council and the Pastor have made some very unwise spending decisions, after all they are the ones who pass the motions to buy this, do that, etc, etc, etc. Let them dig in their pockets to raise the money. We sure are not going to hand over any more that will be spent unwisely.

So, as I have ruminated with all this knowledge today, as I cried because of the brokenness I feel for our church, I sat down at the computer to transfer some photos from my phone, and saw my music list, and of course my eyes would drift to "Praise You in This Storm." What it means for the long run I have no idea. All of us are saying, "Do we leave or do we stay?"  This storm is raging now......a category 5 hurricane for some of us.....

"Lord, have mercy on those in leadership who have made the decisions to put us in this much debt. Have great mercy upon those who came up with the Beer Garden idea and who are making it happen. God, help us. Help us as a church family to find our way through this storm. So many of us are hurting, so many think this is so wrong. We have stayed because of those we love, those who are our 'family'. Yet, we need Your direction, how can we stay at a place that sees nothing wrong with serving beer at a church function. God give us your wisdom, your strength and your grace to walk these days ahead. No matter how long this storm is, I will praise You in this storm and raise my hands and say...You will calm the waters, you will save us"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVWcv-EyBOs&feature=player_embedded

Lyrics to Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm'

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

God Moments

Lately it seems like I am experiencing more 'God Moments' than normal. These are moments that I know God orchestrated them. So I thought I would share them in the hope that you will begin to notice how God works in the small things in your life too.

#1.  I have been looking for a new wallet for months now. It has to be just the right size because I need a side for Gwin's cards (our Sweet Sister in the Lord who we look after), and I need a side for all our cards and stuff. The one I had was just perfect but it was 7 years old, and getting kind of frayed around the edges. I stopped at K-Mart to buy a new mop for our new tile floor and gravitated towards the purse section because they were having a sale. I went through three shelves of wallets and none were big enough. I was walking away when I saw some wallets on the other side so I started looking there. I moved one wallet and saw what looked like the perfect one...and it was. It had a side for Gwin's stuff and a side for our stuff. I was very happy. I got the mop and was checking out when I got my old wallet out to pay for everything.Guess what? I was looking at two identical wallets. The new one was exactly like the new one. That was a 'God Moment.'

 

#2 & #3  I was out looking for some things to decorate our fellowship hall at church for our Sisters of the Spirit Event this coming Saturday. I found a few things but really wanted to find some crowns since the event is entitled "You Are a Jewel in God's Crown." I was not having any luck finding anything. So I called a good friend and she said she had just seen some at the Dollar Tree. I was in the parking lot of Dollar Tree at that moment so she said she would meet me there. By the time she arrived I had found the crowns she saw and we got a few more things to decorate with...now that was a 'God Moment' also, and I was ever so grateful for finding the crowns.

I decided to drive home the back way to Fry's to get a few groceries, but it was time for the little ones to get out of school, so there was a line of cars a mile long (not really, but it seemed that way) waiting to pick up their kids from school. I decided that I would just go down Hwy 69 and forget the Fry's trip. I had been shopping till I was past dropping! I was drooping.

I remembered at the stop light that I had wanted to get a plate hanger to hang a really pretty platter that a friend made for me, which just sits in the cupboard, not used very much at all. Since I was already drooping by this time, I was gonna just go home. Then I hear this very small voice say, "Go to the Big Red Barn". That meant to make a stop at one of the thrift stores, and although I was exhausted, I pulled into the parking lot and went 'shopping' some more. I went up and down each aisle, found a couple of things to use as little gifts for my girls, but not one decorative plate in the place had a hanger on it.

I was just about to give up, but saw a really nice gift for a grandmother, so I read the words, thinking about my own grandmother, and how now I have my grand-kids and I am so blessed. My eyes got down to the bottom of the plaque and right in front of me was a lonely plate hanger marked 29 cents.

I had two 'God Moments' in the same day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The platter I wanted to hang on the wall, and the 25 cent hanger!

 #4.  We had our Book Study Lunch today at Chili's. Oh my, did we have fun. We were there from 11:30 until 2:30! Since we have only been meeting once a month, we have a whole lot of catching up to do when we see each other. Three of us needed to stop at church afterward, but one precious friend was running late to another appointment so she asked if I could take some things to the office for her. One thing was a really itty bitty hot pink flash drive, I mean really tiny! I got her other items in the car and went to church, delivered the items to the office, and then remembered that I didn't have the flash drive. I went back out to my car, looked everywhere, no flash drive. All I could think of was that it must have fallen out onto the parking lot at Chili's. So I drove back to the restaurant, and the parking lot was totally empty. Which meant that all the cars that had been there had driven out, and I thought even if I did find the thing, it would be smashed to smithereens. As I drove into the spot where I had parked, a pink thing caught my eye, I pulled up and opened my door, and it was some bandage wrap from someone who had some blood work drawn. Shoot..right color, wrong item. I opened the car door a little wider, and there on the ground was the flash drive. No one had smashed it with their tires....and if the pink bandage hadn't of caught my eye, I probably would have missed it. 

So back to church I went, a very grateful girl! it most assuredly was a huge 'GOD MOMENT!'

You can see the pink bandage, and barely can make out the flash drive.

 #5. I still needed to find something to put on the tables for Saturday's Sister of the Spirit Event. I could picture in my mind what I wanted. Some gold paper to run the length of the table, and I knew exactly the kind I wanted. We used to use it a lot to decorate with years ago, so I thought I would run into Stepping Stones Thrift Store where they have the craft items. Again, I was looking through bins of craft items. Not much organization there, and I wasn't finding any jewels to use or the paper I wanted. I saw some straw looking stuff  hanging up on a rack, and went to have a closer look. There, hanging in the back, as if hidden just for me was the exact gold paper I wanted. The exact stuff I had wanted to find. Just waiting for me. Another 'God Moment.'

So now I am really jazzed about Saturday....we are really going to have so much fun, making crystal earrings, and learning just how much God loves us that he says we are jewels in his crown.

Buy wait, there is more.....

#6. I get home and I said, "This day has been so wonderfully filled with 'God Moments', that I feel silly even saying it, but it would be so absolutely wonderful if we got a good old fashioned thunderstorm with a lot of rain."  Two hours later, what happened? It began to thunder and raindrops began to fall. Then a HUGE clap of thunder happened, sounding like it was just outside the back yard, and all three dogs come running into the office. Normally just Jake comes and won't leave my side, but now I have 3 big German Shepherds trying to stick to me like glue.

But all in all this has been just a very awesome week of noticing God in the small things...
The God who cares about wallets.
The God who cares about crafty crowns.
The God who cares about plate hangers.
The God who cares about a little lost flash drive.
The God who cares about gold ribbon.
The God who cares about a Texas girl who loves storms.

Our God is an Awesome God and 'God Moments' are when we realize just how Awesome our God is.

                                                         

Tragedy Hits When Least Expected

 For those of you Sisters of the Spirit who attended the worship experience last evening and were present when I received the news that the firefighters that were prayed for during the concert were all dead, I cannot thank you enough for the way you supported my grief. Your love, you support, your understanding how deeply I was in grief and shock all at the same time, and your ability to hug me, to cry with me was amazing. I am so blessed to have ‘sisters’ who care so deeply.

Thank you for the words spoken to me, “I love you.” “I am so sorry.” Thank you for the shoulders I cried upon. Thank you for encircling me not just with your bodies, but with your love.

Pam thank you for your ability to sob with me was you felt my grief, and again I apologize for practically screaming that they were all dead. I wanted to scream. I wanted to just fall on my knees and cry “Abba, Father.”

The names have been released now and there were none who Marty personally knew yet we are still in shock, as is the whole EMS community now. For those of you who have Facebook you can check this link to see the page that was created yesterday for the 19 brave, souls who died. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/357941024332032/

 

As I lay awake last night trying to make sense of all of this, I began to think about what I shared with you all yesterday…that no matter what we go through there is a melody that Jesus gives us, which sees us through EVERYTHING we experience in this life. I cried out, what song could there possibly be playing in my life now in all this weight of sorrow. And then I remembered back to a time long ago at another time when my young 12 year old heart was broken and bruised, attending church camp I chose to sing a song for talent night, and that song became my life song which has carried me through each moment of my life ever since. The song is How Great Thou Art. It carries me right now through this experience as well.

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

I can just see the 19 firefighters walking in their line, through the woods and forest with those big boulders. I see the birds taking flight and the creek beds dry as the hot breeze blows through the trees. And I see Jesus in that line with them, Just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace. The 20^th person in that hotshot crew was Christ.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

I believe with all my heart that our loving God did not allow the firefighters to suffer, regardless of how we think they died. God was there to take them home to heaven in an instant of time.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Christ came yesterday to take them home, and I can see them as their spirits rose from their bodies up heaven bound, and their eyes were on Jesus, and joy filled their hearts. “They could, released from the bodies that kept them earthbound, now truly look at our Savior and singing, “My God How Great Thou Art”

They died doing what they were not just called to do, they died doing what they loved….fighting fires.

It is hard to think of all the lives that are left behind, all of those in our community who are in shock, the families who are grieving so at their loss.

How can we find God in this? I say how we can NOT find God in this. The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our shoulder to cry on, and our blanket of peace.

We grieve, we cry, we break down as our knees shake and we crumble to the ground under the weight of the grief of our community.

And God gently places his arms around us, and comforts us, give us the peace that passes all understanding.

So today, as we await the names to be released, as we wait for the memorial at 4pm today, as we begin the long process of healing, I share my song out to those in the depth of sorrow ‘My God How Great Thou Art’

Thank you all, for your love and prayers, as we grieve with our EMS family.

Rev. Charlotte

Written by Regina Brett, , of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."