It has been 7 years since I became an ordained minister. June of 2005 I walked around the perimeter of the Emissary Wheel, tracing a path that women and men have taken for centuries...following the ways of St. Francis of Assisi, the first Peace Minister who was Peace, wherever he went.
I remember with each step, as I got closer to the center of the wheel, where I would be anointed and ordained, I clarified in my mind what my hearts true intentions were in becoming a Minister of Peace. Having chosen a non traditional seminary, studying for two years and watching the shift in my spirit as God revealed more and more truth, I came to the core belief of who I am, and why I chose to be here at this time. Just as James was anointing me with the frankincense and spikenard, representing the divine feminine and divine masculine, my thoughts were these:
The Emissary Wheel with Attributes |
Lord, Make me an instrument of your Peace, let me be whatever and whoever I need to be at any given moment in order to be who you created me to be. Let me give to those in need exactly what they need. Bring into my spirit all the facets of the Emissary Wheel: Courage, Patience, Wisdom, Certainty, Compassion, Joy, Clarity, Understanding, Depth, Abundance, Generosity, and Agape. Allow that I might be a living prayer of St. Francis.
But God had other plans for me, plans that were to take me from death to life....in a very real sense. I experienced my stoke of insight* the summer of 2008, and left my hospice work behind at the end of the year. For the next two years I spent a lot of time just 'being', not 'doing' much of anything but allowing my body and mind to heal. As I recovered I discovered that it was the very perfect time to begin my Reiki training. As I went through the three workshops to become a Reiki Master, my energy improved and I stepped into a new realm of ministry, healing touch.
In 2010 we began going to a local church, an act that I thought I would never see again. I didn't want to be in any organized religion which puts God in a box. Yet, once again, God moved and directed us to this beautiful family of believers. We walked through the doors of the church and for both my husband and myself, it felt like we were 'home.' I began to volunteer quite a bit, working with the computers, doing things in the office and was very content. Last year they needed a part time office assistant to work one or two days a week to give the office manager some well needed time off. Around the same time I birthed and still oversee the Healing Prayer Ministry. We now have lines which form on Sundays, of people who need prayer. I also taught two book studies, which I absolutely love. I will start a new one in July...all about giving us women permission to slow down!
I have been in the office now every Wednesday for over a year. My title is Office Assistant. No where in the job description are there words of any kind about needing to be an ordained minister. Yet, every week someone will come in to the office who needs a little bit of peace in their lives. And that is what I am...a Minister of Peace. That I can say a word, or give a hug, or be asked to counsel someone ... in all these things and more...I am, at my core...a True Minister of Peace.
Today a young man called the church office. He asked to speak to the Pastor. I explained that he was on vacation at which point the man said, "How can this be? I have called five churches now and each pastor is on vacation. I really need to talk with someone." So, I told him that I was a minister, and asked if there was something I could help him with. He began to tell his story, his faith walk journey, and he had come to a place where he felt that his soul was in mortal danger. He explained that he was baptized as an infant in the Methodist church, but he was baptized in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In his extensive research into scriptures, he came to the belief that in Aramaic translated into Greek, when Jesus spoke of spirit, the word meant evil. But when Jesus spoke in Aramaic about the Holy Ghost, that the word Ghost meant the third part of the Trinity.
I tried as best I could to counsel him about the word "spirit', but he was convinced that he had been baptized into something really bad in having the words Holy Spirit prayed over him. I asked him then if he was feeling that he needed to be baptized again. He said, "Yes." I said, "Come to the church at 2, I will baptize you."
He asked if I was sure that I was comfortable using the words, Holy Ghost. I said I had no problem with that at all.
So, he showed up at exactly 2 o'clock. He even brought his own water, but I explained that we had a baptismal font, so we walked through the sanctuary, all decorated with Vacation Bible School stuff, and went in back of the altar. I did the baptism using the red hymnal, changing the words every time from Spirit to Ghost. By the end of the ceremony we were both in tears. He asked if I had felt how powerful the event was, and then said, "I know you know how powerful it was". And I did. That small private baptism was one of the most powerful events to date in my ministry. I don't know why. All I know is that this precious young man needed to be baptized under the words he believed in. And I was a willing vessel for God to move through me, granting him the very thing that would bring his heart and mind and soul PEACE. I stood watching him leave, tears of gratitude rolling down my cheeks. God has answered my heart's desire....
I am a Minister of Peace. Now and for Always. No matter where I go, no matter what 'job title' I have...I shall remain a true Minister of God's Peace.
*My Stroke of Insight is the title of a book by Jill Bolte Taylor which tells her story of experiencing a stroke of Insight. Excellent book for people who have had a stroke, or for those who have loved ones who have had a stroke.