The following is an excerpt from the "Be Free from Unhealthy Relationships" on-line course. If you would like to enroll in the course, click here.

If you are reading this then you are very likely someone who is trying to not call, text, e-mail or even Facebook a person that you:

-have broken up with or has broken up with you

-have determined is abusive

-are highly attracted to but they are not returning your level of interest (for whatever reason)

-have an unhealthy connection or relationship with

-is presently in your life but you're trying to not act needy with

The whole point of resisting the urge to call, text or email is to:

-Avoid the risk of getting rejected, hurt, and humiliated

-Give them a chance to feel the loss of you

-Not put yourself in a position of pursuing someone who doesn't return your level of interest

-Detach from someone you've broken up with or has broken up with you

-Detach from someone you've determined is not good for you

-Detach from someone who is abusive

-Detach from someone who is emotionally unavailable

-Not act too overly needy with someone who is currently in your life

When you contact someone you're not hearing from or trying to let go of there can be a pleasurable rush of adrenaline from the anticipation of seeing them, hearing their voice or reading their message. But this rush is just a temporary fix, which you may have to pay a tremendous price for.

Impulsivity

When you contact someone you're trying not to act needy with, it's often impulsive. Acting on impulse can make life exciting and dramatic but it can also put you at risk because you are not reflecting on whether it's a productive behavior. You're not thinking of the future and consequences. You're just acting in the moment.

So if you're thinking of making a contact, take time to reflect. Sit on your feelings. Endure your anxiety. Don't just do something because you feel like it. There could be disastrous effects if you do.

Clinging

Clinging is any behavior that demonstrates holding on, not letting go. This can be exemplified by activities ranging from a compulsive phone call, text, or e-mail when they haven't responded to any of your previous contacts. Contacting someone who is not reciprocating your interest, or has rejected you is a form of clinging.

It's human nature to have a hard time falling in love with someone who's bombarding them with phone calls, texts or e-mails. A clinging person doesn't leave someone a chance to long and yearn for them. They are so available another person doesn't have the space to fantasize about or miss them, which unfortunately is sometimes what falling in love, is all about.