| ||
| The Dragonfly from Doris Newton |
This past Thursday at Book Study I looked down where I had placed my teaching materials, and there on top was a beautiful dragonfly pin on top. I turned around to the women in the study and asked who put it there, and with the quietness of her sweet spirit one of the ladies said, "I did. I found it in the Fry's parking lot, and I know how much you like dragonflies, so I brought it to you."
I could not believe this was happening. My eyes filled with tears as I explained to the group why this dragonfly meant so much to me. It all had to do with Doris Newton, one of my hospice patients.
Her memorial story is written below. I copied it from my Peaceful Journey Memorial Journal where I wrote about each of my patients.
My heart was so touched..it was a God moment for sure, because just last week the other dragonfly pin I had received from Doris had broken. Now she had left another one for Rebecca to find and bring to me. I thank God for Rebecca's heart and her thinking about how much dragonflies now mean to me. Thank you so much Rebecca!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Story of Doris Newton Hospice Patient 2006
When I first met Doris and her husband Keith, I have to
admit I felt a little hesitant because Keith was a retired Baptist minister, and I was unsure how he would receive a non-traditional
female minister. At the first visit however it became very clear that
Keith was a true Pastor with a heart of love for everyone. They shared about
searching for their own spiritual walk, first studying Mormonism, and Keith
said to this day he admires their philosophy and dedication and the way they
take care of their own people. Neither of them showed any signs of harsh judgments of
anyone with different beliefs. It was truly a blessing to see.
Over the months that followed I met Geri, Doris’ sister, who was filled with Christ’s love and held
the compassion of Jesus as foremost in her life also.We developed a wonderful relationship and our visits were
full of laughter, joking and even talks about Doris’
favorite TV show, 24. I have to admit here that because of Doris,
I have become a follower of the show myself.
It still is amazing to me the impact that we were able to
have upon each other all because we offered each other love. It taught me the
importance of loving unconditionally, of bringing peace to people who are
caregivers, as well as to those who are facing their death.In return love and peace flows from them to me. Love
truly conquers all.
The last weeks of Doris
life were very stressful. It took a lot of work for our whole team, and from
Doris’ caregiver nieces who came into town from out of state to help with
precious Auntie, to get her pain free, and hence another gracious lesson
presented through Doris was the need for our hospice team to work cohesively
together, and in this instance we all worked so very well together it was like
a flowing river. We flowed around a few rocks, but ultimately Doris
was able to reach a rest stage and do her soul work and relax into her
transition.
At one point her niece Sandy, plus Geri and Keith were
struggling a great deal as to knowing what to say to Doris,
wondering why she was lingering, and even Doris herself was questioning why God
would not take her home. I brought out the book Final Gifts for the family to
read. Even before the visit was finished, Keith had read the first story and
let me know it was just what he needed to help him understand how to talk to Doris about death.
Keith shared with me on subsequent visits that all his
life as a pastor he felt uncomfortable talking with people about death, and
their own Pastor who came to see Doris a few days before she died told the
family that he knew she was going to heaven, he just didn’t know how to help
her get there. What an honor it was to teach the beautiful spiritual
family how to talk to the dying, how to understand the things she said and did,
and what she might need to help her on her way.
Once she was pain free she did reach a resting place
where she could do her soul work…work left over from being abandoned by her
father when she was young. This was what I believe she needed to work through
before she could let go. She asked about her dad several times before she died,
wanting to know if he was with their mother in heaven.
Doris and her family taught me again that the greatest
gift we can give to people who are dying is to be able to LISTEN to them, hear
beyond their “I am all right, I have no pain.” And see the pain written on
their faces, and feel the pain in their hearts. Dedication from the team
brought Doris to that final place of rest and
for that I will be eternally grateful.
On a glad morning when this life was over…Doris flew
away. It was April 13, 2006
The morning she left this world, I got the news that she had died. I went on a few visits and stopped at Safeway to get something for lunch. As I was returning to the car I saw something shiny right by the drivers side door, on the ground. I stooped down and in amazement I picked up beautiful dragonfly pin.
I immediately remembered a conversation I had with Doris. She had a lot of dragonflies on bushes in her yard and she could watch them outside her windows. She really thought they were beautiful and told me that if there was any way that she could get a message to me after she died; letting me know that she was at peace and pain free she would do so through a dragonfly. I remembered how we had spoken about dragonflies being a symbol of the afterlife and I knew that Doris
was letting me know she had made it safely to heaven, and had left a reminder of her
journey with me.
I love you Doris.
