The Beer Garden at Church (Praise You in This Storm)

*please scroll all the way through the post to the link for Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm*

Marty and I joined the church where we worship now in 2010. We started going in the fall of 2009, after my stroke, and my departure from working as a full time Spiritual Counselor at YRMC Hospice. We both felt that it was time to find a church that we could call 'family', and 'home'. When we walked through the doors of the church we felt accepted, loved and found places where our gifts could be used to share God's love with our neighbors in Prescott Valley.

We joined in the Spring of 2010, and found our niche's. I was on the Care and Nurture Team, I helped to birth the Healing Prayer Ministry, so that people who needed prayer could come up and receive anointing with oil and a prayer during communion. I was asked to come to staff meetings every Monday morning, and all seemed to be right with the world. Marty came to co-chair the Building Ministry and he enjoyed it a lot.

There was a vacancy for an administrative assistant in the church office in the Spring of 2011 so I began to volunteer my time in the office two to 3 days a week, and when the office manager went on vacation. I loved being in the office. I felt that it was a calling from God to help the office manager and I just loved seeing everyone who came into the church for Bible Studies and other needs. It allowed me to get familiar with people from 1st service and I just loved getting my Wednesday hugs from Arlene and Isabel...their hugs were just the best!

I was hired on as paid staff in August 2011 and it was a perfect fit for me and for the Office Manager. We just seemed to be two peas in a pod. We worked very well together and the office ran really smoothly. I took care of the computers at church, and with the help of an IT guy we were able to get all the computers working in a network that was easy to use, and things were rolling along very well. Life was good.

As time went on, and Marty and I took on the role as caregivers for our dear friend Gwinnie, my time was split between church, and many trips to Gwin's apartment to see to her needs. I dropped out of the Care and Nurture Ministry and the Healing Prayer Ministry because there was not enough of 'me' to go around. Taking care of Gwin became a full time job, I still had my Reiki practice, and did spiritual counseling on the side also. My live was full, and along with the hectic days, came more and more migraines. Bad ones, the kind that ball you up in the fetal position and you just want to die.

Things changed at church in 2012, when we had a series called, A World Unbroken, which was supposed to be only a few weeks, but it went on and on and on. The details are not important, the outcome from those weeks are. It left our church broken. That is all I can say...and it has not healed one bit. We are being led on this course where there has been no time to just 'BE STILL' and allow healing to occur so that our body may be made whole and well. Very few people made it through those weeks without the brokenness touching their lives in some way. It broke my heart to see precious people so hurt and raw, yet they stayed, as did we, because we had our church 'family' there and we could not abandon ship.

There were a lot of things that happened in 2012 behind the scenes which I found, as a minister myself, to be just so hard to hear, to see and to listen to the aftermath of things done and said to hurt one another. It was just so hard to bear the sorrow that permeated the church. I closed out 2012 by sending in my resignation. I left because the pastor did not want me there, telling me that I was bringing too much negative energy into the office. We had a meeting with Marty and another church member present to clear the air, and it was such a difficult meeting. I was told that I brought too much negative energy into the office. I was told 'I want the Old Charlotte back', meaning he wanted the Charlotte that he knew pre-stroke, when I worked for Hospice. It never occurred to him that I would like to have her back too. We talked about my stroke, my migraines and the fact that not once did he ever come to me and ask why I was quiet, or maybe I was short with him...all because I was working with a migraine. He told me that people were afraid of me. Afraid of me. Really? I guess I am pretty scary.

Another issue he had was that he did not like me using my title Rev. Charlie or Rev. Charlotte, which I had on my name tag, and on my emails from church. He didn't understand how a minster could be happy being an office assistant. I told him that I would do whatever God wanted me to do, no matter what that 'job' was. He told me that I wasn't being the 'healer' that he knew that I was supposed to be because I left the care and nurture team and the healing prayer team. In other words, he wanted me to do what he deemed was right for me, not things that I knew were right for me.

He broke me that day, broke my spirit into a thousand raindrops carried on the wind of the storm beginning to form all around us.

I am not the first person he has 'broken', and I won't be the last. In fact I think I am in rather good company with those he has done this same thing to. Maybe I should wear a badge of courage for fighting the good fight of faith. I resigned and went on with my life.

I focused my energies on my book study, our evolving women's fellowship 'Sisters of the Spirit', and on our Outreach Ministry which is just beyond phenomenal. The interfaith meal we serve each month is just such a huge blessing to our neighborhood. We serve between 80 and 100 people, and send many sack lunches out on that day.


We are getting prepared for our 4th annual Fall Fun Fest, which is a gift to our neighborhood. It is such an awesome feeling to see little children and their parents come and have a 'free' day where they enjoy a free day of food, games, crafts and more. Last year we fed the whole Prescott Valley Police Force that was on duty that day.

This is the highlight of our Outreach Ministry: GIVING TO OUR COMMUNITY, and we do so much because it is in our hearts to be like Christ....after all aren't we his ambassadors? Aren't we his hands, his feet and his mouth here on earth now? YES, YES, YES!!!!

In the midst of the huge preparation that it takes to put on our Fall Fun Fest, we were told that the church is behind in it's budget, and the church council is going to put on an Oktoberfest the last week-end of the month of October. We were told that the council would fund the whole event and be the worker bees for it also. Most of us involved in Outreach just said, fine, as long as council is putting it on, then we don't have to do anything. After all, October 5th is the Fall Fun Fest, October 11th is our Interfaith Meal, October 10 thru 12 is Women's Cursillo, and quite a number of worker bees of the church are involved in this. Then our Sisters of the Spirit event is Friday October 18. So by the time the last week-end of the month arrives, all of us will need a week-end of R&R.

The powers that be asked for our input, we gave it, they didn't like it, so they are going full force to get the Oktoberfest organized. On this past Sunday, from start to finish the whole service (except for the songs we sang) was focused on money. We are $22,000.00 behind, and we have one month to step up and raise this money. Then just as we are digesting this...we got kicked again. From the pulpit we were told that Pastor was looking forward to having a beer with each and every one of us at the Beer Garden that will be just outside our fellowship hall. You could have heard a pin drop. No way could this be real.

Oh, it is real all right. A beer garden at CHURCH. We remain stunned, shocked, and most assuredly NOT going to participate in that event. NO way, NO how. And they are going to sell tickets.....to people not even associated with the church. So the community that we are supposed to be ministering to can come and drink beer with the Pastor, have a meal and help reduce our debt.

Did no one think first of all, it is just wrong, but second, how many beers does it take to pay off $22 grand? Enough for people to get drunk for sure. And what about the liability?  If we serve someone, who then is impaired and has a wreck...WOW, that will make PV headline news, heck, it probably would be on one of the Phoenix news channels.

Did they think about the people we have at church who struggle with addiction? What if because this event is at church, the person says, "Well if the church is sanctioning this drinking, I guess it is all right for me too."

Did they think about what a horrid example it is for our children? Beer and church is all right. Okay, beer at a kegger is all right. And what about our community at large? Here we are known for our Outreach into the community, where we have a top notch reputation. Know where our reputation with other churches is going to be after October 26th? In the mud.

To top it all off...rumor has it that each of us will be receiving a personal phone call (Aren't we special?) We are also being asked to pay up to date for any of our giving that would match the pledge we made last year.  Hello? Anyone home? We are in a recession. Don't they think that there is a good reason why people may not have given what they pledged? Lost jobs, medical expenses, etc. Plus we will be asked to give that person the amount of our pledge for next year.

It is not the sit in the pew church member who is responsible for this $22,000.00 need. For Marty and I, and those in our inner circle, this is just like the political arena. Washington has overspent, and the little man has to suffer. Well, the Church Council and the Pastor have made some very unwise spending decisions, after all they are the ones who pass the motions to buy this, do that, etc, etc, etc. Let them dig in their pockets to raise the money. We sure are not going to hand over any more that will be spent unwisely.

So, as I have ruminated with all this knowledge today, as I cried because of the brokenness I feel for our church, I sat down at the computer to transfer some photos from my phone, and saw my music list, and of course my eyes would drift to "Praise You in This Storm." What it means for the long run I have no idea. All of us are saying, "Do we leave or do we stay?"  This storm is raging now......a category 5 hurricane for some of us.....

"Lord, have mercy on those in leadership who have made the decisions to put us in this much debt. Have great mercy upon those who came up with the Beer Garden idea and who are making it happen. God, help us. Help us as a church family to find our way through this storm. So many of us are hurting, so many think this is so wrong. We have stayed because of those we love, those who are our 'family'. Yet, we need Your direction, how can we stay at a place that sees nothing wrong with serving beer at a church function. God give us your wisdom, your strength and your grace to walk these days ahead. No matter how long this storm is, I will praise You in this storm and raise my hands and say...You will calm the waters, you will save us"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVWcv-EyBOs&feature=player_embedded

Lyrics to Casting Crown's 'Praise You in This Storm'

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm