Yesterday evening we went to Chili's for dinner. It was a very spontaneous thing as Marty was coming home from school and I was coming home from attending the Executive Mtg for church. We met in the parking lot of Wal-Mart and then decided that we'd head to Chili's. We drove up in separate vehicles and met in the parking lot and walked into the restaurant.
The sweet girl who was the hostess opened the door for us and she said, "You guys are so cute together. Holding hands and looking at each other with love. I want that someday". We thanked her, and I told her the secret to living together now for 19 years, was to let all the small things go.
After we got home I got to thinking about our journey together for the last 19 years. we have been through SO MUCH together. From living in Winona in Marty's small apartment over a Christian Bookstore to living here in Prescott Valley, Arizona in a home that is a beautiful reflection of who we are as individuals and as a couple, we have always held hands. What does that mean?
From the moment we were first together we held hands, in public and in private. From watching TV, to sitting in a restaurant, to riding in the car, our hands just found each other without even really thinking about it. That was and is, who we are.
I think the first time the I was made aware of how significant it was, that small gesture of love between us, was during the winter, coming up the hill from Winona to Hwy 90 and the road was very icy. We were in the fast lane and the "Rochester boys" as we called them were just behind us in the slow lane. Marty, paying more attention to the guys, was headed for the pylon that began its separation of north and south lanes. All of us, at the same time, looked ahead and saw the pylon. Time seemed to slow down and Marty steered the car into the right lane and we made it home without further incident.
The thing I remember most was that we never stopped holding hands throughout the whole incident. I realized how calmly Marty handled he situation and I was not used to that at all. From that moment on I began to notice how Marty faced difficulties with a quiet calmness. It had the affect on me that I was able to relax after living with a manic/depressive man for 16 years.
Not long after the pylon incident happened we were coming home from dropping the kids off at their dads. It was snowing and the roads were icy. We went into a curve and the slow motion camera came on again as the car slowly slid off the road into the ditch. We were holding hands throughout this incident also. Marty stayed calm and simply backed out of the ditch and we went home.
Although most people think of Marty as that sarcastic joker, I've lived with him for 19 years and I've seen the "real man" when he lays aside his jokes and sarcastic remarks. He is a compassionate man who cares a lot about helping people and loves being able to adopt rescue dogs. He is kind. He is strong.
Our relationship has changed over time, like all do. We are comfortable with one another and it feels so good. One thing has not changed though.
We still hold hands.
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